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shiny_glor_chan . One Day I will run one of my own memes and not pinch other peoples. Until then
Five Lies Alfred doesn't regret.

1. He’s never liked Thomas Elliot. He’d tried to tell himself that it was irrational, that Mr. Elliot had never being anything but delightful to him. Never the less there was something about the young man that made his skin crawl.

While Bruce was away on his travels, Elliot wrote to him. Looking back, the letter was a warning of the madness festering away in that soul, but at the time he just took it as an ordinary love letter.

When Bruce calls later that month and asks if there’s being any mail for him, Alfred denies it. With everything that happened, he can’t say he regrets it.

2. He never regrets the lies he told to Dick in the first few weeks at the manor. If anything he regrets telling him the truth, especially when he sees his oldest charge struggling into the cowl.

3. It is unfortunate that Master. Grayson and Mr. Bruce have such different tastes. Master Bruce’s favourite colour is black or a midnight blue, while Master. Master Grayson favours...red, yellow, green, electric blue, a great deal depends on the day.

The problem comes with father’s day and a new tie for each of them. Alfred’s is...modern is the best way to describe it. It is slightly more refined than Master Bruce’s (which suffers a series of unfortunate accidents, involving coffee, a stapler and hot water before the day is out and is never worn again), but is still not what he would have chosen. Never the less, he declares his pleasure in the gift and wears it at Dick’s suggest to his club. When he returns three hours later, he reassures Dick that everyone was “Quite envious of tie”, when in reality he had to spend three hours persuading the committee not expel him.

4. Jason is a challenge, Alfred would never deny that. Partly it’s a child who feels so out of place in such luxury, partly it is Master. Bruce’s fault (even if he’ll only admit that in his head). At the same time, his death nearly kills him.

It is nothing, however to the sight of his lost bird leaning against the kitchen door, an ugly batarang wound on his neck. He patches it up and nurses Jason through the fever that accompanied it.

When Bruce asks him if he’s seen Jason since his resurrection, he denies it.

5. It’s the biggest lie of all. “Of Course your parents would be proud of you.” Truth is, the little he knows about Master Jason, Master Dick and Miss Stephanie’s parents, and the lot he knows The Wayne’s, The Drakes and Talia leads him to suspect they would be as horrified and terrified as he is. Never the less, it is what they need to hear. And with that in mind, Alfred can’t honestly regret the lie.

Five times Jason was a good brother.

1. He never tells Dick about Bruce’s breakdown after Dean. Partly because he isn’t sure he can handle it himself, but mostly cause it happens Just after Brother blood has finished with the Titans and the last thing Dick needs is to be summoned home to Gotham when he’s barely recovered from what happened to his team

So on the phone he lies to Dick and pretends everything’s fine. Even though he’s so scared he wishes Dick would call him on the lie and come rushing home to Gotham. But the Titans need Dick, so he’s glad he doesn’t. Or at least he tries to be.

2. No one ever even thinks to wonder why there was such a length of time between his fight with Bruce and his pummelling of Tim.

Partly it was he needed to heal from the Batarang wound Bruce gave him, but mostly cause he didn’t really hate Tim that much. Kid proved in the cemetery he was a good fighter and could handle being Robin.

Or so Jason thought.

It’s about a week after he’s healed enough to go on Patrol that he sees it. Five thugs, one of them jacked up on MHG. And Tim.

Tim never tells anyone about coming around after the fight to find the thugs out cold and tied up. Arrogant little what’s it thinks he’s responsible. Someone’s got to teach him to be more careful

It doesn’t mean he enjoys the fight at Titan’s Tower though. For one thing, it reminds him of all he never had.

3. Stephaney isn’t Robin for very long, and he doesn’t know what Bruce was thinking. Then again he doesn’t know what Bruce was thinking from the get go, having a kid in a dopey Halloween costume.

But he does know it hurt the kid. A Lot.

The first time he tries to approach Tim, he nearly kicks the snot out of him, only stopping when he realises Jason isn’t fighting back.

Jason then points out that Bruce has screwed them both over. Tim isn’t for killing Joker (not that Jason too upset about that, the clown is his!), but he does need a friend who understands the shit he’s going through.

Turns out the Replacement is quite cool when he isn’t Robin. He actually thinks he could handle him as a brother.

That all goes out the window when He and Dick beat the snot out of Jason over Troy’s death. He barely even feels the pain of his injuries. The pain of the betrayal is too great.

4. He keeps trying to reach out to Dick, but it never works. Dick always kicks him in the nuts, sometimes fugitively, mostly literately. He keeps trying through. Even if they’re not related by blood, they’re still brothers.

5. It takes him about three days to realise anything’s up with the brat. That he’s moping and depressed. It might be because the kid is demon child and a pest, and he’s actually better when he’s moping.

But he’s just a little kid. One who misses his mommy. Even if his mommy is an international assassin, terrorist, murderer and basically bad person.

But hey, whose Jason to judge? His own mother is nothing to write home about.

He speaks to Oracle, who makes some calls. It’s over five minutes before Ra might be able to trace them, but Damian’s in a better mood.

Not that’s necessarily a good thing.

Five rumors the other heroes have about Gotham

1. It’s a portal to evil. That’s why it produces such freaks. Could anything other than evil produce the Joker? Or Batman?

2. Batman’s gay! O.K. that’s not so much a rumour, since Kyle walked in on him and Clark, but the real rumour is that the reasons for the weird relationship Batman has with his freaks. After all, why else would he try and help the Joker after the courts have convicted him? Or still “Play Chess” With Two Face.

3. Arkham’s built on an Indian Burial ground. Seriously how else could it be so spooky?

4. Red Hood is Jason Todd.

5. Damian is a demon’s son. Literally.

Five rumours about Batman in Gotham

1. Batman’s mob. Or at least muscle for someone, probably Red Hood. He takes out the competition and then his boss swings in and takes control.

2. Batman’s a demon. Or a vampire. Or an Alien. Or something supernatural at least. How do you explain the kids not getting any older or the guy’s ability to keep going night after night? It ain’t natural man.

3. He’s pervert. Seriously have you seen the kid’s costume? Bare legs and there’s not much between the legs, if you get my drift. Why else is the kid out with him if not for some “stress relief?”

4. There’s someone, something feeding Batman information. Seriously, have you ever fought one of those guys? They keep yack, yack, yacking away to someone you can’t see. Of course, it’s possible the whole lot are just batshit crazy, but who who lives in Gotham isn’t?

5. Batman lives in a cave. And sleeps in a coffin. With a giant penny on the wall. Seriously. There are guys who’ve gone back to the cave and seen it. They’ll all swear to it.